As usual, I write as I lean my
back against the wall. The rain is falling hard since afternoon, so I set my
blanket on my feet. I try to memorize what I really need to write because my
current emotional condition is pretty unstable.
Today is the 58th days of the
year and I could say that, I am lucky and blessed. Several big events happened
during the first two months which maybe unrealistic, yet it happened to me.
Previously I tweeted about what scared me off after receiving so many great
good news. Well okay, about the good news.. I finished my research proposal
within three weeks and already did the presentation, achieved the highest
score, got very kind and cooperative advisers plus humble and helpful
examiners. A day after presentation, I directly jump to Bandung as I accepted
as an intern on Central Bank of Indonesia. Okay, probably that's too much for
me to ask from God, but He's been very generous to me. Other thing, dad got new
big project tho he should move to Papua. So apparently, dad, mom and me live
separately in three places. Interesting.
It doesn't run as I wish, tho.
Personal life. I got slapped really hard here and there, cried many times,
angry all the time, even I probably get a heart attack during those emotional
weeks.
*currently playing Charlie Puth's
One Call Away right now for personal purpose*
I've made several people having
bad weeks, too. I probably shared too much information, but all I need was to
be listened genuinely. Until one day, one of my good friend called and shared
the unpleasant story of him. Until on the next following days, I heard my very
good friend shared her tragic part of her life, a very dramatic one I thought
it will only occur on TV. Few days later, I listened to other good friend about
how unhappy he was as human being. As I shared stories, they fed me back with
something I concerned as a nightmare which comes every night. I was really weak
that I even told mom of what I felt.
People come, people go
Everything got a chance to change
Sometimes it's raining cats and
dogs
Sometimes it's just sere
I don't understand how hard to
arrange this chaotic world, but sure God has put His hand to help everyone. You
just never know when will it hit you. Perhaps it will always hit you in
moderate power so you won't feel too much. And by hand, I mean He has uncountable
hands that often formed as family or friend.
It hit me really hard that right
now I am still suffering. Perhaps, I've seen anywhere laughing with friends or
doing something. Because indeed,
Life is about keep going on even
after the hardest storm
And you have nowhere to hide but
your own heart
The eyes will keep telling the
truth
And people will get bored to your
book
And maybe that's the reason why
we should not trust people?
Or maybe we should keep writing
different stories
Although we are still thinking
the same as yesterdays
And the feeling that never change
Because even the closest people,
the one whom you trust your every story
Made a big lie just last
weekend..
Tonight should be ended in an awe
way
Because my year will be change in
two months away
And let us wish the most
beautiful wish
That would be a day everyone will
cherish
